From Selfless to Self-Honoring: A Journey of Reclaiming Yourself
For much of my life, I’ve been a giver—a provider, a nurturer, and someone who instinctively put others' needs above my own. When the global pandemic struck, life presented me with a role I never anticipated. I took in my nieces and eventually adopted them, going from being a mother to one daughter to raising three. It was a decision made from love, grounded in selflessness, and one I’ll never regret.
But now, as I am starting 2025, I’ve realized something important: it’s time to shift the focus inward. This year, I’m choosing to honor myself.
What Does It Mean to Be Self-Honoring?
To be self-honoring means recognizing your own worth and valuing your needs, boundaries, and desires just as much as you value those of others. It’s not about neglecting your responsibilities or being unkind—it’s about creating space to nurture your well-being.
When you honor yourself, you give yourself permission to recharge, grow, and thrive. And when you do, you’re better equipped to show up for the people you love in a healthy, sustainable way.
The Cost of Always Being Selfless
Selflessness is often celebrated as a virtue, but it can come at a cost. During the pandemic, I poured every ounce of energy into caring for my three children. I put my physical, emotional, and mental needs on the back burner because I thought that’s what being a good mother required.
Over time, though, I began to feel the effects. Constant giving without replenishing myself left me depleted, unappreciated, and disconnected from the person I used to be. I realized that while selflessness can be an act of love, it must be balanced with self-care to truly be sustainable.
Why I’m Choosing to Honor Myself in 2025
This year, I’m redirecting some of the love and care I’ve always given to others back toward myself. Honoring myself means:
Setting boundaries with my time and energy to protect my well-being.
Pursuing personal growth through learning new skills and embracing hobbies I love.
Prioritizing my health by focusing on fitness, rest, and emotional wellness.
Letting go of guilt for putting myself first and acknowledging that self-care is not selfish—it’s necessary.
This shift doesn’t diminish my love for my family; it amplifies it by ensuring I can show up for them as my best self.
Steps to Start Honoring Yourself
If you feel the same pull to focus on yourself, here are some unique ways to honor your needs:
Say No Without Explaining: Practice saying no to things that don’t serve you, and resist the urge to over-explain. “No” is a complete sentence. This is a concept I’m learning from the book Set Boundaries; Find Peace by Nedra Glover Tawwab, which has been a game-changer for me. Grab your copy here if you’d like to learn more.
Write a “Not-To-Do” List: Consciously let go of habits, tasks, or commitments that drain your energy. This could mean avoiding unnecessary meetings, cutting down on social media, or simply skipping the things that don’t bring you joy.
Reclaim a Space in Your Home for Yourself: Find a corner or room in your home to make your own. Add personal touches—like your favorite chair, art, or even a small altar—to create a space where you can recharge and reflect.
Write a Thank-You Letter to Yourself: Reflect on everything you’ve done for yourself and others this past year. Write a letter to yourself expressing gratitude for your strength, resilience, and sacrifices. It’s a powerful way to honor your journey and remind yourself of your worth.
Practice Saying “Yes” to Something You’ve Been Putting Off: Maybe it’s starting that fitness class, signing up for a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, or even taking a leap toward a dream you’ve delayed. Saying “yes” to yourself is an act of honoring your potential and passions.
Moving from selfless to self-honoring isn’t about rejecting the people you care for. It’s about demonstrating that prioritizing yourself sets a powerful example for others—from close friends to your children.
As I step into 2025, I’m excited to see how this shift will transform my life. Honoring myself feels like coming home to the person I’ve always been but momentarily set aside. If this resonates with you,
I invite you to join me. Let’s make this the year we honor ourselves unapologetically.
